How many of us as disciples can say that we truly understand the biblical roles of the family? When you think of roles for your family, how do view your husband’s role? Your wife’s role? Where did you learn about the role of the family? Before I began reading and really focusing on God’s Word, I did not fully and truly understand His Word on the role’s for the family. And as I am learning to understand it, I still backslide into 33 years of learned behavior of what I knew and learned about how to establish family.
Roles are important because it provides biblical balance needed for each spouse to function in the role God intended. Just as men and women are created differently, they also have differing roles to fulfill in the marriage relationship. God gives each of us abilities to function in those roles.
The Husband’s Role: Ephesians 5:23 ‘For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.’ As head, it’s the husband’s responsibility to cast the vision God has given for his family and to communicate that vision to his wife. But the real question is what does God expect of a husband? Ephesians 5:25 ‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.’ The husband needs to understand the needs of his wife. For instance, most wives will say they need to be loved, cherished, and valued. God created us this way. Wives look more at the actions of their husbands, than what he says. Wives need their husbands to communicate their love by demonstration and actions she understands. Husbands hold the key to the success or failure in a marriage. When a wife sees the sacrificial love of her husband, she is motivated to love him and submit to him. The greatest of all leaders is a servant. God’s Word tells us to do nothing through selfish ambition. Jesus was a servant leader, He led by example and so are the duties of husbands. True authority comes from humility. Jesus was a selfless leader. He humbled himself and served. A husband must be firm and decisive, but also humble and unselfish. Men, when you lead your wives or prospective wives in learning the Word of God, she grows and she will also find it easy to submit to you, as she sees you submitting to Christ. God intends for the husband to provide for the needs of his family. Provision must not only be made for physical needs, but spiritual as well. Not only is the husband to make provisions for food, clothing and shelter, he also provides teaching of Godly principles.1Timothy 5:8 ‘but if anyone does not take care of his relatives, especially the members of his own family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.’ Husbands are to model a heart for reconciliation and restoration. This includes forgiveness and serving. Husbands are to forgive quickly when offended, and no record of wrong should be kept. This must be done whether the wife repents or not.
The Husband is to demonstrate spiritual headship in tangible ways, because the wife must be able to recognize the way a husband leads:
· Daily prayer with wife
· Daily devotion including reading scripture
· Communicating with his wife what the Lord has spoken to him
· Developing a vision for the family
· Teaching his wife and children the principles of scripture
Loving your wife means being sensitive to her needs. Comfort your wife when she needs comforting, not when you think she needs it. A husband should protect their family from:
· Criticism-particularly opposition from relatives
· Evil influences-How much social contact my family has and what form will it take
· The dangers of youthful desires-Take the lead in courtship
· Physical and spiritual calamity- Pray for protection for your family
· Harmful contacts with others outside the foundational family
Men, ask your wives or future spouses if she feels your love?
Ask if you have demonstrated sacrificial love to her?
Ask her to provide 3-4 caring behaviors that you can do for her, that will make her feel loved and cared about